Pessimist? Not Anymore! (updated)

I've been thinking of my atiitude towards things lately... Masyado na ko nagiging negative lahat nalang ng bagay na maganda nahahanapan ko ng pangit... sumasama na ugali ko... I should be thankful with what I have... Kaya simula ngayon I'll try to shut myself and think of the good things... so I made a list of my blessing to thank God and the people around me na naniwala kahit ganito ugali ko... thanks...

Things I'm thankful for:
1. Naging president ako ng choir.
2. Naging filipino section editor ako ng scribe.
3. Nakasali ako ng prisaap.
4. Nakaattend ako ng journalism fellowship.
5. Nakapasok ako ng singing idol hanggang finals.
6. Naging top 9 ako nung first grading.
7. Natuto ako maguitara.
8. Natuto ako sumulat at kumanta.
9. Naging lapel ulit ako this year nung foundation day.
10. Lahat ng napanaluan ko kahit recycling contest pa yan... hahahaha..
11. Mayroon akong friends na naging totoo sakin at hindi ako iniwan kahit bangag ako.
12. Meron akong family na supportive sa kahit anung gawin ko.
13. Pumasa ako ng chem. (haha)
14. I was praised by my teachers kahit konti lang.
15. Sa dami ng sakit ko buhay pa rin ako. :p
16. Meron akong clef chin asset ngaraw yan sabi ng iba. (kahit inaasar ako) :p
17.Meron akong dimples.
18. I'm petite. hahahaha...
19. I got in the finals of Y speech!!!! Awoohh!!!
20. Nakabili ako ng bagong folders sa choir... ahehehehe... (babaw)

Sorry sa lahat ng nabother ko sa lahat ng kapraningan ko... hehehee... peace ya'll... anu kaya un? hehehehe... Ewan ko ba kung anu sumanib sakin ngaung araw.... adik! bwahahahahahha!!!!

PCHS Singing idol

Surprisingly, I got in the final 5 to perform at the gym. I'm really happy but still there's a part of me that can't let out that energy... I just domn't feel deserving enough because actually at that time I never expected it. I was one of the worst performers that night (my opinion only) and beside the fact that may singing partner sang my solo part, I was really frustrated about that and started crying. I really didn't want to cry but still I was too nervous and I felt cheated in a way though I know it was not her intention. I was over acting and I know it but I can't help it.

At first when our notes were lost, I was still enjoying it though there's a possibility of not getting in, I was still fine. But when she sang my solo I just stood there frozen, staring at her and signaling for her to stop. But as expected nothing changed. I was too down to even look at the audience. I only stood there staring at the floor and tried to calm myself down. It's as if, if I was given a chance to ran off and cry outside I would've. But it pulled me deep down to hear my name knowing that the other singers did better. I was not even close to good. I'm not questioning anybody but at that time I thought of my friends who really spent their time practicing while I did not do so much.

Now, all I can do is to pray that I don't do the same mistake as I did last time and that I can prove to people and myself that I am deserving and I was right to be there. That's all I can do now. My self-confidence vanished just like that. I think I'm just being too paranoid. Hahahaha... Good luck nalang sakin!!!!! Ahehehe... Abd I'd also like to thank all my friends who stood up for me kahit nagkalat na ko at lahat. Tsaka sa lahat ng tulong niyo sa tono ko sa mukha ko and for being true to me. salamat po!!! Love you all!!!